When you speak from that deep, inner voice, you are really speaking from the unique tabernacle of your own presence. There is a voice within you that no one, not even you, has ever heard – John O’Donohue, Anam Cara: A book of Celtic Wisdom

In the age of AI, Siri, posting, texting and Tik Toking, we are losing our ability to communicate authentically and fully with ourselves and others. Tending towards the terse, efficient and “bottom line”, our communications are often lacking in our presence and personal signatures. Sure we are signing off at the end of our correspondences but we are not typically investing our unique perspectives, resonances or quirky twists. Let’s be real, if we tried to communicate this way, Siri wouldn’t understand us and AI would probably be able to say it better in 10 words or less. While I truly appreciate these innovations and the ways they simplify and broaden my life, I am personally aware of their cost to my communication abilities and to those of my clients and students alike. I don’t think any of us are exempt from the ways in which these technological advances short circuit our ability to think and express ourselves deeply and honestly, with spontaneous meandering and weaving, making the telling of our stories and experiences deliciously rich, intimate and alive. Personal communications like this connect us with our own wonder, beauty and gifts. They also provide fertile ground for connection with others. You see, it is in the details and the idiosyncrasies that we find the commonalities, the bridges and the relatable.

The other drawback of this technologically induced abbreviated speech is that we have all become accustomed to listening in short intervals. We expect communications to come in brief sound bites, and we often find ourselves getting irritated, impatient or agitated when they don’t. I don’t think any of us intend to be mean spirited or judgmental . Social and cultural realities shape our perceptions and our expectations though, and in turn these impact our attention spans and emotional reactions. It requires more discipline, patience and sometimes even a few deep breaths these days to listen wholeheartedly to longer than expected shares or communications. It may even require a bit of compassion and grace. I can honestly say that more often than not, the rewards far outweigh my efforts when I extend my ear for that unexpected story or share. As psychologist and founder of Archetypal Psychology, James Hillman said, “in your patience, is your soul”. In these encounters, where I surrender to the moment and give the gift of both my time and my patience, I usually receive bounty in feelings of connection with another and the experience of being warmed by a glimpse of my own soul, not to mention the occasional added treasure of a much needed message, piece of advice or good laugh being divinely imparted in the exchange.

I actually think it is quite important that we have or try to cultivate spaces and relationships where sharing from the heart, and listening from the heart are not only welcomed but awaited. Conversations in which the pacing of exchanges are intentionally slowed down, and pauses are not invitations for interjections. Opportunities to revisit relevant memories or stories are beheld, and individuals are welcomed out of just sharing rote opinions and customary grievances. I think these experiences allow individuals to be seen and heard by themselves and others in a way that fosters self-appreciation, feelings of connectedness and belonging.

Healing with Heart Counseling and Consulting Services regularly offers its Heart Speak workshop so participants can practice deep listening, mindful speech, and compassionate communication in a safe group setting.